When baby boomers hear the phrase “successful aging,” we sit up and listen. Too many of us know what it means to age “unsuccessfully,” and we’re terrified.
My sister, Theresa, just texted me a photo of Mom after she fell Friday outside on pavement. The left side of her face and forehead is scraped, bruised and swollen. How she fell is a study in unsuccessful aging.
Mom was standing against a building, waiting for Theresa to park the car. She noticed a penny on the sidewalk and began poking at it with her cane. Theresa was walking back toward the building when she saw Mom bend over, reaching for the penny.
When Theresa called me hours later to report that the emergency visit found no head injury, we had the conversation we’ve been having for over a year.
“I tell her all the time not to bend down. She loses her balance so easily.” “I know. But she’s just like a little kid. She gets so engrossed in something and has to touch it.” “I know. It’s that stupid cane. She should be using the walker.” “I know, the good one with the wheels.” “I keep trying to insist, but she just won’t.” “I know, she says she doesn’t need the walker.” “I know.” “I know.” “I know.”
Here’s what we know: Our Mom, who gave birth to and raised 10 children, was the quintessential mother and wife of the 40s, 50s, 60s, 70s, 80s and 90s. There was nothing she couldn’t do. “You want something to get done? Ask a busy person,” she’d say when a relative called to ask her to make her famous apple pie for a party, or the church called with another volunteer request.
Between mounds of laundry, she cooked and baked and cleaned. She drove the boys around on their early morning paper routes in the winter. She waited up for the last teenager to get home before locking the door and going to bed. She went to novenas every Wednesday night while Tom was in Vietnam and took dancing lessons with Dad when he returned. She took care of her grandchildren right alongside her own. She coached and counseled innumerable nieces and nephews on parenting.
Then sometime in the last decade Mom stopped. “What do you expect? She’s tired.” Anyone of us would say in her defense. But we all knew it was something else. The less she was called on to do, the less she did.
There’s something else about Mom that I haven’t talked about in these columns. She was a smoker – for 50 years. (At the end of this month, we have an appointment with a neurologist where I’m hoping to learn if her dementia is vascular or something else.)
Dr. Peter Lichtenberg, director of Wayne State University’s Institute of Gerontology, says studying aging today is important because we’re facing an “age sunami.” www.iog.wayne.edu/bio; www.iog.wayne.edu
“Successful aging as a field of study is only about 20 years old,” says Dr. Lichtenberg. “We need a lot more knowledge. There is too little attention paid to problems of older adults and too many misconceptions.”
The Institute of Gerontology (IOG) conducts some of the foremost research on the social and behavioral aspects of aging. One area of focus, cognitive neuroscience, looks at how the aging brain affects thinking skills and how to detect normal from abnormal brain performance.
The IOG’s work contributes to our growing understanding of dementia and Alzheimer’s by educating physicians and their office personnel as well as holding continuing education forums and conferences.
IOG contributed to an online training resource by the Michigan Dementia Coalition for physicians and their office staff to recognize, treat and bill for dementia. The IOG helps physicians partner with organizations such as the Alzheimer’s Organization and the Area Agency on Aging.
You may remember the recent billboards on Michigan highways: WorriedAboutMemoryLoss.com, directing online traffic to the Alzheimer’s Association. www.worriedaboutmemoryloss.com; www.alz.org.
This ongoing research and education helps us all. Whether it’s today or tomorrow, we will all be affected by some sort of aging issue – medical, social or economic.
More than 40 million people in the United States are aged 65 and older. That number rises to 53 million in less than 20 years and 89 million in 40 years.
If our generation doesn’t age more successfully than our parents are doing, the social and economic consequences could be unimaginable. The good news is we may have more control over how well we age than we once thought.
“Being engaged both physically and mentally; doing what you can to reduce the impact of chronic disease. These are all important aspects of successful aging,” explains Dr. Lichtenberg.
There’s no one simple answer. There never is. But we know so much more than our parents did about reducing risk and remaining independent. It’s our collective responsibility to give it a try.
n Anne Marie Gattari, president, BrightStar of Grosse Pointe / Southeast Macomb, serving seniors, children and disabled needing care in their own homes. 586.279.3610; www.brightstarcare.com
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